Remember way back when I reviewed Frogs and I made a comment about being shocked that Joan Van Ark was kinda hot in the early '70s? Well, it was shocking. My formative Joan Van Ark years came courtesy of television's Knots Landing in the '80s...and it's not as if she was unattractive at that point in time, but let's face it- she was no Donna Mills or Nicolette Sheridan. Regardless, my time spent with Knots Landing affected me so that when Ms Van Ark's name pops up in the cast of a Lifetime movie, I say to myself "Oh yes, I should watch that. But first, I must do something noble for the children." This occurred most recently when I caught the 1993 thriller-with-a-capital-THRILLER With Harmful Intent, where Joan Van Ark was married to Rick Springfield, and that's all you really need to know to know it was awesome. Of course, before settling down to watch it, I did do something extremely noble for the children, but I don't want to get too far off-topic here, so you'll just have to trust me on that one.
All right, there is a point to all of this, I swear. This gem appeared in my inbox today from a friend who apparently wants to...well, to kill me, or at least give me nightmares. You have been warned.
It is obvious to me now that Joan Van Ark died five years ago and no one bothered to tell her. I will mourn her passing by busting out my Knots Landing Season 1 DVDs. I will laugh through my tears when Valene (as played by Ms Van Ark) acts all whiny as she recounts yet again how JR Ewing is a jerk because he stole her daughter Lucy and had some "good ol' boys" run her out of Dallas.
JR Ewing is a jerk, by the way. He's the guy the world loves to hate!