Kristen Kerr: Can I tell you what I just saw? It’s literally so disturbing- I’m kinda in a shitty area of town, but I’m driving and there was a man on the corner of this busy area…there was a guy with his pants pulled down, like, literally jerking off. I heard everyone go “Ahhh!” , and…what if my car ran into him and killed him? Could you imagine? Oh my God, it scared me!
Final Girl: I used to live in New York and every once in a while you’d see someone doing that on the subway. But if you’re in your own car, you should be safe from that kind of thing…unless, of course, you're the one doing it. Otherwise, it shouldn’t be happening.
KK: He’s obviously insane, but he was like a normal guy. He wasn’t a bum- he had on a normal shirt and stuff. It was just gross…fucking gross. (author's note: "He's obviously insane...": I love that.)
FG: I don’t know what the motivation behind that is...doing it in public, you know? Is it “Oh my God I really need to do this RIGHT NOW!”, or…
KK: I guess the attention helped him get off or something…holy cow.
FG: But see, now you’ve got a story.
KK: I won’t answer any of your questions, I’ll just keep referring back to what just happened to me!
FG: Right! "So, tell me about Flight of the--" "OMIGOD he was jerking off! Someone could have gotten hurt!"
We go on about the jerking off guy for quite awhile, deciding that perhaps it was the late-summer heatwave at fault, that people were being driven insane by the ridiculous temperatures. We also decided that it was extra scary because although she was in her car, Kristen is about six months pregnant- won't someone think of the children? Then I bring up The I Scream Man, a film that's been in pre-production for ages and has been written about on all the horror news sites at one time or another.
KK: You know, it’s been so sad- it’s been my little drama. I booked this movie at the beginning of the year, like January. They hired me- it was a straight offer and I was so excited. They saw me in the David Lynch film and I was so honored and flattered...and it was for a lot of money, my first offer for actual big bucks. It wasn’t shooting until June. Then in May, we found out it got pushed to July- and I found out I was pregnant in May. I would’ve thrown up through the whole film, but at least I could’ve done it ‘cause I wasn’t showing. Then, in July we found out it was pushed back to September. I haven’t been available for anything else acting-wise, because we signed contracts, there’s a lot of money, they’ve got a lot of stars in it- it’s this big fuckin’ movie. I was really sad because I was like “Oh, I’m not gonna be able to do it because I’ll be totally showing.” Then, we figured we’d wait since they sort of jerked us around, we thought they’d fire me for being pregnant and we’d sue ‘em for discrimination (she laughs). We had this whole plan! We got an email last week saying the funding still had not come through, that’s why it’s been pushed so many times. They’re working on it, but…this whole thing has give me such a headache and heartbreak. It’s been the bane of my existence.
FG: By the time they get it going, the baby will be out and you’ll be all set.
KK: It’s something that’s gonna happen. They kept having little fallbacks. First, it was Tom Sizemore going to jail, and we were like “Eh, fuck it.” Then they got Michael Madsen to replace him…it happens. It’s just that this was the first time that something that exciting for me got pushed. But at the end of the day, I get a baby and there’s gonna be other movies for me. But I wasted six months, not even auditioning.
FG: I’m not surprised they’re having trouble with funding- looking at the cast, there’s a lot of familiar names, big names in the genre.
KK: I mean, even Crispin Glover! I’ve been so excited for this stupid movie…it just goes to show, with life, you never know. I mean, I’ve probably even spent money assuming this movie was gonna happen. It’s a lesson, but I’m thrilled for the cast. Thrilled!
Kristen was so excited talking about Crispin Glover that she hung up on me. I called her back, though, and we talked about discrimination against preggos, which allowed me to talk about Melrose Place- you know, how Hunter Tylo got fired from the show before filming began because she got knocked up. She sued Aaron Spelling and won millions of dollars, and Lisa Rinna was eventually hired for the role, and it's odd because I like Lisa Rinna for some reason even though I kind of can't stand to look at her. I don't think I ever learned the character's name- my friends and I always just called her "lippo". And we called whatever character Kristen "Sex in the City" Davis played "Bug-eyed Newie" all the time, and we totally hated her and we were sooooo glad she ended up dead in the pool. As you can see, there's nary a conversation I can't work Melrose Place into or, barring that, I can bring up Dallas. They're sort of a universal language, not unlike love.
Anyway, tune in tomorrow when Kristen and I actually discuss Flight of the Living Dead.